I am not a perfect mom.
I’ve been too hard on them. I’ve been too lenient. I’ve said things I regret. I’ve gotten angry and I’ve yelled. I’ve said “yes” when I should have said, “no” and I’ve said, “no,” when I should have said, “yes.” I’ve cleaned up their messes when they should have cleaned it up themselves. I’ve played the mom guilt card, though it rarely worked. I’ve bailed them out when they should have learned the hard way. They’ve learned the hard way when I should have bailed them out. I’ve indulged them at times when they should have been denied and denied them at times when it was okay for them to be indulged.
I’ve prayed for them like no one else could possibly pray. I’ve cried countless hours knowing the journey they are having to walk through. How I wish I could make their world more perfect. But, I can’t. I can only surmise that one day God will use what they have had to endure to make them more loving and empathetic toward others who have walked a similar journey.
Only God could love my kids more than me. Only God could want them to walk in Truth more than me. Only God can draw them to Himself. And I trust Him to do just that, for they have been given the foundation of Truth. And one day soon, as my almost 20 year old son already has, their faith will become their own.
AND only God would choose someone like me to be their mom, for which I am eternally grateful!